Other Means to Get What You Want
by xMercedesx
Summary: A meeting between Konoha and Team Hebi turns out different than expected. Sasunaru, slight crackfic.


Slight cussing. I used the words: For God's sake and Jezus. If you are adverse to it, don't read the fic.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

* * *

Determined blue eyes locked with dark onyx ones. He had finally tracked the bastard down.

"Sasuke. I often said I was going to bring you back to Konoha but I've had enough. Every single time I fail. I go home disillusioned, train my ass off, get some kind of crazy mission from Baa-chan in which I almost die, get information about your whereabouts, nag the crazy old hag for permission to track you down, get injured by her vicious replies, get assigned to a new team with idiots in it and after long searching I find you. We talk, we fight, you beat us without any effort. I fail, go home, I've had enough!"

Sasuke only reply was his arrogant smirk, his ego just magnified tenfold. "What is stopping you then, dead last? Go home."

Naruto gritted his teeth in annoyance as he glared heatedly at the bastard.

"You aren't going to give up, are you Naruto?" Sakura's small but still filled with fear voice filled the vicinity. All eyes locked on Naruto.

* * *

They had received the mission to find Sasuke and his newly chosen teammates, and by 'they' meaning Kakashi, Yamato, Naruto, Sakura, Sai, Kiba, Shino and Hinata. The group had employed Kakashi's nindogs, trying to find the scent of Team Hebi. Then they noticed the huge explosion, laced with familiar chakra: The Akatsuki. They all had rushed towards the explosion, finding the place demolished and laced with the scent of Sasuke and his companions. Sasuke had replaced Team 7.

Quickly they had tracked the scent until it split up. Naruto had to make use of his KageBunshin to look everywhere at once. He found them quickly and anticipating their direction, he led his teammates there.

* * *

Naruto turned quickly around, his eyes full disbelief. "No! I'm not going to give up! How could you think that, Sakura-chan? I've not spend all these years wasting my time just to give up now!" The offended voice of the knuckleheaded ninja caused sighs of relief.

"I'll just change plans." Naruto grinned mischievously as he walked towards Sasuke who just looked at him with his eyes narrowed, anticipating every move. His eyes widened however when Naruto's hands formed a very familiar seal...

"Sexy-no-jutsu!"

Sakura smacked her forehead and Kakashi just shook his head. A pretty blonde, but naked girl erupted from out the smoke and lashed herself on Sasuke. Small trails of blood dripped out several noses.

"Sasu-chan... Don't you like me? I'm all hot for you..." She said, her voice trailing seductively while she bit Sasuke's earlobe. Sasuke just frowned in disdain while Karin was spouting loud curses. "Get off me, you loser."

Naruto leaped off him and struck a pensive mode, her hand under her chin while the other one supported her arm. "Why didn't it work? After all, I defeated Iruka-sensei, Sandaime-ojiji and Jiraiya with it... Maybe he just isn't into..." A slow grin spread on her face.

"Henge!"

A naked Gaara erupted from the smoke, looking murderously sexy at his target. "Uchiha. Learn me how to make love."

Sakura dropped to the ground twitching. Sasuke scowled. "Stop it. I am _not_ gay." Naruto changed back.

"You _are_ gay! You can't possibly deny it! Have you looked at yourself in the mirror when you change into your curse seal-form? You look like a freaking girl! With lip gloss and long pretty hair! And take your brother! Untie his hair, put him in a dress and he could pass for a girl! It practically runs in the family!"

Naruto seemed to calm himself. "Maybe you're not gay for Gaara, but you are gay for... Henge!"

"Uchiha. Show me what destiny has decided for us. Fate clearly states you are the one for me."

"Stop it, Naruto. That is disgusting." Said Sasuke a bit disturbed, barely besting Kiba's loud laughter. Even Hinata had let out a small giggle.

The Naruto-turned-Neji formed again the proper hand seals. "Henge!"

This time a naked Kakashi showed himself. The real Kakashi actually twitched visibly in horror. "Sasuke. What do you say about some _one-on-one_ training? I'll show you what you can do with the Sharingan, after all, it can copy _anything_." The Naruto-Kakashi winked seductively at Sasuke.

Sasuke's eye twitched in response. "If you don't turn back within the second, I'll maim you." Naruto quickly changed back. "Well, then this one has to work! Henge!"

Instantly, Sakura fainted from blood loss while a naked Itachi smirked at Sasuke. "Little brother, show me how much you've _grown_."

Sasuke's sharingan flashed and in an instant his katana was in his hands.

"Alright, alright! No need to kill me!"

* * *

A half an hour later Naruto had changed in all the guys from the Konoha twelve and their senseis. Even the Akatsuki, Orochimaru and Kabuto. Sasuke almost retched by seeing a naked Lee and Orochimaru.

"Why doesn't it work?! I'm certain you are gay! I saw you checking out Kakashi-sensei when we were younger! Why else would you get so much _special _training from that pervert?!"

Sasuke shuddered. "That was training for God's sake, Naruto! Jezus, what kind of mind do you have?!" Sasuke was clearly loosing his cool.

"I agree completely." Kakashi's dry tone sounded behind Naruto. "And you've forget someone, Naruto." Kakashi's one visible eye glistered merrily. "Yourself."

Naruto already opened his mouth to protest loudly but then snapped it shut "Well, I have to try! I will bring you back! Henge!"

Smoke engulfed his tanned muscled body, enhancing his manly figure. Sasuke looked slightly fascinated at his once best friend.

"Sasuke. Please come back with us. Back with me." Large blue eyes begged him to give in, to come closer, to... Sasuke's eye twitched once, twice, before a slim trail of blood dripped out of his nose.

"Sasuke-kun? Sasuke-kun!" Karin's undignified shrieks didn't seem to wake Sasuke out of his trance. Naruto smirked briefly in victory.

"Bastard? You'll come back with me?" Naruto trailed his fingers over Sasuke's muscled chest and his victim shivered visibly. Naruto planted flight kisses on Sasuke's neck, going upwards until he reached the corner of Sasuke's mouth. "

"Will you come back?" It was almost whispered in seduction. Sasuke froze for a moment before he seized Naruto's lips harshly, his hands holding the back of Naruto's head in place, ignoring the loud gasps and shrieks of the females present. Then he pulled back, smirking all the while.

"Well, how can I deny your request when spoken like that?" Naruto looked dumbfounded, unable to process the happenings.

"I will come with you."

And with that he snapped out of it and embraced Sasuke in happiness, tears trailing along his cheeks. Sasuke petted his hair in comfort while hugging back. Then he smirked.

"You know you're still naked, don't you?"

* * *

Reviews are welcomed. So is reconstructive criticism.


End file.
